Thursday, February 10, 2011

More of my Writing

This is the 1st chapter of a book I am writing just for fun. To read the prolouge, click here.

Clare County MI, Present Day-

Clare High School was relatively small and Luna Kardon knew a majority of the people who went there. Most teachers and students were nice, but everyone had known each other since kindergarten. Sometimes Luna wished she went to a larger school with more people.

Currently, she was a sophomore and sitting in science class listening to Mr. Willow’s 10 minute lecture to go with their 2 minute experiment. Unfortunately, Mr. Willow was a boring teacher which made the class boring. Otherwise, science was Luna’s favorite subject.

While attempting to give her attention to the teacher, Luna felt something lightly brush her arm. It was her good friend and lab partner Jacqueline trying to pass her a note. Luna unfolded the crinkled note quietly so nobody could hear the paper crunching. Inside, toward the top of the paper, was a doodle of a turtle with a cartoon bubble over his head.

In the bubble Jacqueline’s neat handwriting read, “Bryan’s haircut looks amazing! I wish he was single… So, have you decided what you are going to wear for the dance? The purple dress you have would be perfect!”

The End-Of-The-School-Year Dance was all anyone could talk about. Well that and the very attractive Bryan Hefter. He was the quarter back for the school football team and all the girls loved him, but none of them knew him well. He had a small group of friends which mostly consisted of football players and their girlfriends. Luna thought he was a little stuck up, but like other girls she couldn’t resist his looks.

Luna was going to the dance but she wasn’t nearly as excited as everyone else seemed to be. It wasn’t that nobody had asked her, a lot of guys had. She was fairly pretty with her brown hair and green eyes, but she wasn’t a very good dancer.

Luna attempted to sketch a dolphin on the note, but it turned out lopsided due to her lack of artistic talent. She scribbled a thinking bubble over its head and wrote, “It looks good  I think I’m going to wear that dress, but I need to buy some shoes for it.” She slid the paper across the table back to Jacqueline.

“Ladies, please get started on your experiment,” Mr. Willow said impatiently.

“Sorry,” Luna murmured as he walked by their lab station.

Jacqueline pulled the Bunsen burner out of the lower cupboard while Luna grabbed a beaker from the top shelf. As she was pouring water into the beaker she got a glimpse of Bryan doing the same thing at the lab station across from theirs. He caught her eye and flashed her one of his famous dazzling smiles. Unfortunately Bryan’s lab partner and girlfriend, Sarah also caught her eye and scowled at Luna.

“What does he see in her?” Jacqueline seemed genuinely puzzled.

Luna quickly looked away from Sarah’s evil stare. “I don’t know what he sees in her, but there sure is a lot to see on the outside of her.” Sarah had a perfect body and made sure to show it off with outfits that almost barely cover her body. Most girls at Clare envied her. Right now, Luna was definitely one of them.

“Yes that’s true,” Jacqueline said turning her head back toward their experiment. “I just wish Bryan had a little more depth than that.”

For the next fifteen minutes of class Luna made sure to not look at Bryan or Sarah again. Instead, she focused on boiling water with her Bunsen burner. When the final bell rang she said a quick goodbye to Jacqueline and hurried to her locker before Sarah could talk to her.

The rest of the school day flew by fairly fast. During lunch, Luna made plans with her friend Nicole to go shopping the next day for dresses and shoes. Her following classes were uneventful and things were slowing down now that the school year is coming to an end.

At the end of the day she met Pete in the parking lot and hopped into his old beat-up truck that used to be Dad’s. Pete waved goodbye to his girlfriend Rachel before getting in the car.

“Hey,” Pete said as Luna shut the passenger door.

“Hey, Rachel isn’t coming home with us today?”

“No, her mom wants her to go home and study” Pete sounded disappointed.

“Oh.” Luna didn’t mind Rachel. She was pretty and polite.

Pete started up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. “So are you going to the dance this year?” He asked suddenly cheerful.

“Yeah, I think so. All of my friends are going and maybe it will be fun.” Luna didn’t go to the dance last year but from all the stories she heard she could tell it was going to be interesting. “Are you going?”

“Of course!” Pete exclaimed. “I already have my suit picked out and Rachel has been talking about it for weeks.”

Luna wasn’t surprised that Pete wanted to go to the dance. Pete loved having fun and it would be his last school dance considering he was a senior.

Pete snuck a sideways glance at her. “So, who are you going with?”

“Michael Campton.”

Pete thought for a minute. “I don’t think I’ve heard of him. What’s he like?”

“Well, he plays football, he’s in my grade, and he’s tall and blonde....” She ran out of things to say about Michael. She didn’t know him too well.

Pete chuckled. “Sounds like a keeper!”

Luna softly punched him in the arm and turned up the music. Pete rolled down the windows and his auburn hair whipped around his head.

Luna loved Pete. He was everything she could ask for in a brother. He was fun but not reckless and cared for Luna without being overprotective. Pete loved Mom too. He started helping her out a lot since Dad died.

He is one of the smartest people Luna knows, and loved how he seemed to know everything. She always thought he got it from her dad and Luna was going to miss him when he went off to college this year.

After singing along to the radio for a few minutes they pulled up to their small two-story house. Luna jumped out of the car but Pete stayed in and kept the car running.

“Where are you going?” asked Luna

“I’m working overtime this week. Tell Mom that I’ll be back around 9.”

“Okay.” Pete was a waiter at an Italian restaurant. It wasn’t his favorite job, but he wasn’t one to complain. And he loved the extra money.

She closed the front door and hung her jacket up on the wooden coat hook. It was early May and still a little chilly outside. She rounded the corner into the kitchen and found her mom putting dinner in the oven.

“Luna! How was school?”

“Good. What are you making?”

“Spinach lasagna. I found a recipe that your grandma used to make.” Mom worked at an animal hospital and usually wasn’t home during the week except for Wednesdays, her day off. Mom was always a very cheerful person. She was a vegetarian and loved animals. Her tall, thin figure and long brown hair made her look pretty and youthful.

“Yum! I’ll be in my room until its ready. I have a lot of homework tonight.”

“Okay Honey. Do you know where your brother is?”

“Yeah, he has to work tonight. He’ll be back around 9”

“Oh he’s going to miss dinner! Well, he will have to eat some when he gets home.” Luna knew Mom was upset. It could get lonely in the house without Pete.

“Maybe after I finish my homework we could go on a hike.”

Her mom loved going on hikes and anything else that had to do with nature. Luna found hikes pointless but she would go on them just to spend time with Mom.

Luna left the kitchen and carried her backpack up the stairs to her room. Pete’s room was directly across from hers and beside the bathroom; their rooms were the only two on the second floor. She liked it that way.

Her room was small and the walls were a light purple. It had white soft carpeting and held her twin bed, closet, desk, and computer. They never had a lot of money and now that Dad was gone they had a tight budget. Luna didn’t mind, she liked her room and never felt crowded. She opened her backpack and began working on her Geometry.

That night after dinner and the long hike with her mom, Luna finished her homework and went straight to bed. She changed into some comfortable clothes and snuggled with her plush blanket.

She thought about science class that day. All she had done was look at Bryan and Sarah got pissed off. She couldn’t imagine what would happen if Sarah caught them talking. Maybe it was the smile he gave Luna that made Sarah mad. He had such a beautiful smile.

Luna drifted to sleep thinking about him. Bryan was in science class lighting his Bunsen burner and wearing his stunning smile. Sarah did not exist in Luna’s dream. Just Bryan and Luna. And Bryans Bunsen burner. Bryan’s Bunsen burner…

Tell me what you think!


  1. Hi. I read your chapter, and it's very nicely written. But when you read through, I somehow got the feeling that the name Luna was used too many times. Use more 'she' and less name? That would make reading less bumpy and more fluid.
    I liked the ending :) and the characters too. Good luck!

  2. I was worried about the name thing too! Haha thank you :)

  3. This is great :D You are really good! :)


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